


Love You Like I Loved You

by B2Min



Category: NU'EST
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-25 00:54:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14965577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B2Min/pseuds/B2Min
Summary: Baekho breaks up with Minhyun post-PD101."I'll only bring you down," he said.All Minhyun wishes for, really, is for everyone to see what he sees in him.And now everyone does.





	Love You Like I Loved You

"Please, please Minhyun don't cry, don't cry..."

It was like the end of Produce 101 all over again. Minhyun crying, Dongho with that stupid, proud smile of his that's so sincere and yet also submerging whatever anguish he has inside.

Except that this time, it was because they'd (Dongho, really) decided to let go of whatever they had. Something they'd never bothered to try defining with words.

Minhyun loved Dongho.

Dongho loved Minhyun.

That was supposed to be enough. Until it wasn't.

"This is for you, you need to _focus_. You need...need to not be associated with me, all my problems." Dongho was being reasonable, being so self-sacrificing, so _ridiculous_.

"How can it be for me when it hurts me so much? You think it's going to be easy? You think I'm just going to just get on with everything, like us, like nothing happened?"

"Because it would hurt _me_ more if your chance gets tainted by me."  
  
"I don't care..." "But I do. Please, Minhyun. This is for us both. Even if it doesn't feel that way."

Dongho's hands were soft on Minhyun's face, thumbs gently wiping at the tears that kept welling up to the point Minhyun could barely see.

"Please try."

***  
  
And Minhyun did try. Working hard, staying up late, hardly eating, throwing himself into the new songs and routines. Part of it was to help distract him, part of it because he knew this really was his last chance. That he had to do well so when (if) he came back maybe, maybe that success would rub off on the rest of them.

He'd had to work so hard, try his best to avoid getting photographed with the rest of Nu'est. Relying on sporadic updates from the rest of them, barely talking to Dongho because, well, it was easier.

Easier because it would hurt less at feeling so helpless.

 _He doesn't deserve this_.

"Is he alright, Jonghyun-ah? Is he eating? Is he..."

Jonghyun cut him off with a patient, "He's doing as well as he can be doing, Minhyun-ah. It'd be better if you were here, though."

"You know why I can't."

"I know, but it still needs saying." The unspoken words: _because you need to know it_.

Dongho's messiness and tendency to sleep in late aside, Minhyun was unabashedly proud of Dongho. They'd all started from nothing - just hopes and dreams. But Dongho's voice - its distinctness and power - was something they all admired. It set him apart but so did a lot of things, which didn't always go well.

He'd be so loud sometimes, always so needy, painfully yearning to be noticed. Much as it annoyed Minhyun on occasion, it also made Minhyun really, really sad.

"You're the best singer, Dongho. The best."  
  
"No, everyone likes your voice better, Minhyun. They like Ren's face better. I'm just..."

" _Perfect_. Shut up. To me, you're fucking perfect."

Dongho's eyes had gone wide at his swearing (Minhyun almost never swore) before laughing his high, giggly laugh. Of course Minhyun had to shut that obnoxious noise up with a kiss. Many, many kisses.

He still thought about those kisses, before he slept at night. Tried to ward them away with kissing maybe one, or two of the other Wanna One members. But that was as far as it got - kissing. Before he'd stop and realise that there was only one person he'd rather be doing that with and if he was lucky, if he was just patient enough, he'd get to do it again.

"You miss him, don't you?" "I do."

There'd be kisses and cuddles; long talks at night. But everyone involved knew it was just a way of passing time, to survive. Minhyun just wasn't up to forming deeper attachments - knowing first-hand how fragile they could be, and how broken he could get.

Broken was also how he felt when he saw how well NU'EST W was doing - winning awards, performing, racking up endorsements and yet Dongho still had to hide himself. No promotions, no performances? He just had to be invisible.

It seemed like a crime. A crime to Minhyun who was so proud of how far they'd all come, and of how much Dongho had personally worked on the album.

Sometimes, sometimes if he missed them too much he'd hazard a search for his members. Typing in 'Baekho' - though afraid of what would come up.

Jonghyun's face appeared enough on TV that he at least knew what he was doing.

Baekho? Well. They'd barely talked on the phone. If he couldn't stand it anymore, and sent him some weepy text at 1am in the morning...Dongho would only reply hours, even a day later.

He knew Dongho didn't mean to hurt him - he was trying to keep his distance for both their sakes.

Still, when he could, when Minhyun didn't care anymore, he'd still find a way to wrap his arm around him when they were at concerts together. Still squeeze in a hug or fleeting touch.

Then when the tide turned, when things changed enough that he didn't need to be afraid for Dongho anymore...

"Minhyun-ah. You up?"

"Yeah..." He hadn't been expecting the late night call, even if he had mentioned to the guys he'd be free for a few days.

"Feel like taking a drive?"

It was just that, though. Stolen, quick moments. Grabbing a bite to eat, having takeout in the car. Always watching out for someone with a camera or phone.

Now they'd have longer chats on the phone. Texts where Minhyun would tease him about the latest meme or social media post.

"Wah, Dongho-yah, your face on Times Square. Has your head gotten bigger yet?"

"It'll never be as big as yours, Minhyun-ah."

It was easy enough, the banter. Though Dongho this time wasn't so keen on sharing the lyrics of their new album. This time around, JR and Dongho were writing all the lyrics.

_It should have been me. Me there too, with them, with him._

Did Dongho stay up till dawn in the studio, with Bumzu and Jonghyun the way they used to? Did they go for late night snacks at that corner stall near the studio?

"You know they're going to all be about you, Minhyun-ah. So...this time, just wait along with the rest of LOVEs, OK?"

Minhyun pouted. "But don't I get special privileges?"

"We are forever going to have two 'For Minhyun' albums - 'I'm Bad' wasn't for me, it was because of me. So, please, you still win."

"Well if I win, then, do I get to choose my prize?"

Dongho laughed. "What do you want, Minhyun?"

"You. It's always been you."

It was just the two of them, sitting right there at the table and Minhyun knew he needed to be as close as he wanted.

"Do you believe now, that you're good enough? For everyone? People love you now, Dongho-yah."

He was at Dongho's side now, chairs pushed together, his hands folded together on Dongho's lap.

"Everyone can see now what I've always known - that you're _fucking_ perfect. Just the way you are."

Dongho was still quiet. A slight crease formed on his forehead.

"Minhyun...ah..."

In the quiet, the only sound Minhyun could hear was the loud beating of his heart.

"...I'm still not letting you hear the new album first."

Then Dongho was laughing and Minhyun could feel his ears burning, partly from rage and partly from his unwilling amusement.

And now, Dongho was leaning close, so close and Minhyun could barely _breathe_.

Only for Dongho to kiss him smartly on the nose. _The nose_.

"You've always had me, stupid," he said, smiling brilliantly.

"I don't know whether I want to kill you or kiss you, right now," Minhyun grumbled.

"You can decide about killing me after we make out?"

Well, never let Minhyun say Dongho wasn't full of brilliant ideas.

In reply, Minhyun just put one hand in Dongho's and dragged him to the nearest clean bedroom, the sound of Dongho's laughter accompanying their short journey.

This was where he should be, and they were what they had always been. And as his eyes closed, as Dongho's lips met his, he knew he never wanted to be anywhere else.

 

 

 


End file.
